Hey, here are some strange words that have been storming in my mind, taunting my toenails in a deep sea.
It was the 5th of May, 2014 when Abraham Shoephocker was strolling along a mountainside trail etched within the face of the mighty Appalachians. Abraham, a native born Taiwanese soldier was free.As free as an Egyptian slave building the pyramid of Giza. Well, he was actually free as he was an American citizen and only Taiwanese in the sense that he heard of Taiwan one time. Abe, during his walk, thought to himself, “where would be a good place to eat my packed lunch?” So he observed his surroundings with the vision equivalent to that of a mole… He found a massive boulder that had rolled its mighty way down from the top of the mountain onto 44 smaller monks, demolishing their organs. They had been dead for over 967 minutes. O how the French Doth Conquer! He sat upon the boulder and removed his lunch bag. Inside was another bag of which Abe opened with glee and joy. After opening that bag he realized there was another bag inside of that one. “Well fuck me” he exclaimed. And so he opened the next bag. Open opening that bag he saw another mothering bag inside. With anger and a tyrannical sense of pride he removed his titanium infused pleasure rod and beat the bag until his dehydrated octopi secreted from its packaging. Now the man had no meal, no love, and a large amount of Nigerian wealth. And so he was still plagued by hunger. He began a fire exactly 3.985 cm from the massive rock and began to gather food. Since he was on a mountain there was no food. Only two options remained… either eating the monks or himself at timed intervals. He picked the easiest answer. To eat himself. He began by slicing off his right arm by his mid triceps. He did so with a burning agony and a deep love for the film “Finding Nemo.” He bled out and died. About 18 months later, a subsequent group of 44 monks were walking down the trail. A deep and hallowed song rang through the mountain air and the souls of the rest screamed in horror. A massive boulder composed of 98% pure marble and 2% copper hurled down the mountain directly in their location. It smashed the heads of the innocent ones, killing them all. Among them was a man of great distinguishment. The man was a native born taiwanese soldier and he was free. As free as an Egyptian slave building the pyramid of Giza. Well, he was actually free as he was an American citizen and only taiwanese in the sense that he heard of taiwan one time. This man was Abraham Shoephocker.
It was the 5th of May, 2014 when Abraham Shoephocker was strolling along a mountainside trail etched within the face of the mighty Appalachians. Abraham, a native born Taiwanese soldier was free.As free as an Egyptian slave building the pyramid of Giza. Well, he was actually free as he was an American citizen and only Taiwanese in the sense that he heard of Taiwan one time. Abe, during his walk, thought to himself, “where would be a good place to eat my packed lunch?” So he observed his surroundings with the vision equivalent to that of a mole… He found a massive boulder that had rolled its mighty way down from the top of the mountain onto 44 smaller monks, demolishing their organs. They had been dead for over 967 minutes. O how the French Doth Conquer! He sat upon the boulder and removed his lunch bag. Inside was another bag of which Abe opened with glee and joy. After opening that bag he realized there was another bag inside of that one. “Well fuck me” he exclaimed. And so he opened the next bag. Open opening that bag he saw another mothering bag inside. With anger and a tyrannical sense of pride he removed his titanium infused pleasure rod and beat the bag until his dehydrated octopi secreted from its packaging. Now the man had no meal, no love, and a large amount of Nigerian wealth. And so he was still plagued by hunger. He began a fire exactly 3.985 cm from the massive rock and began to gather food. Since he was on a mountain there was no food. Only two options remained… either eating the monks or himself at timed intervals. He picked the easiest answer. To eat himself. He began by slicing off his right arm by his mid triceps. He did so with a burning agony and a deep love for the film “Finding Nemo.” He bled out and died. About 18 months later, a subsequent group of 44 monks were walking down the trail. A deep and hallowed song rang through the mountain air and the souls of the rest screamed in horror. A massive boulder composed of 98% pure marble and 2% copper hurled down the mountain directly in their location. It smashed the heads of the innocent ones, killing them all. Among them was a man of great distinguishment. The man was a native born taiwanese soldier and he was free. As free as an Egyptian slave building the pyramid of Giza. Well, he was actually free as he was an American citizen and only taiwanese in the sense that he heard of taiwan one time. This man was Abraham Shoephocker.
Hey, I figured I'd like to share some interesting ideas that came to me as I sat down and wrote what your reading right now (if it is that what you're reading is this discription of what you'll read quite soon).
The rodeo
It was a stormy April mourning in northeastern Kentucky, and Joe felt that he was in need of a deep yet compelling thrill of which he had never quite felt rumble through his slippery innards before. He could not however determine what it is he would do to fulfill his burning need. Aha! he exclaimed as a 14th century goose attacked his tenderloins. He knew where he must go. Joe picked up his formal ball gown and got real strange in preparation for his day at the rodeo that he knew would be occurring a few meters from his ruler shop downtown. Joe, being a pudgy and stinky little man, walked with great difficulty and embarrassment to the rodeo as people starred at his absurd outfit, and jerked away from his repugnant scent. As the tears of embarrassment filled his eyes with the burning screams of 18,000 middle aged walruses, he realized, "Hey, I'm me and i am special." However he was wrong. So wrong that because he said that aloud and allowed others to hear it, they began to throw small yet very large magnifying glass repair kits at him. As he ran with great pain and sorrowful leaps, he had finally come to the rodeo. There, a small but uncalled for sea lion approached him. Joe, having a deep and sexual pathological fear of such a creature removed his nail polish from its holster and threw it at the sea beast with minimal and sad force in an attempt to scare off the nasty animal. This did nothing but anger the sea lion. The sea lion, aptly named Sir Fargungle IV, began to rube his slippery and wet body onto Joe's face, demonstrating his anger to him, but at the same time, Sir Fargungle IV looked at Joe squirm with disgust, and so he backed off. In strangely and absolutely perfect English, the sea lion said onto Joe "It is alright small land mammal, come with me and i shall show you the ways of my people." Joe took one look at the lion that just caressed his skin and thought to himself, absolutely fucking not. He proceeded to pull out his shotgun and rip apart the sea lion's digestive system with hot bullets of sexual tension. "Oh how the French doth conquer" Joe said. He stepped over the sea lion and puked a little bit, but knew he must move on to fulfill his thrill seeking adventure.
The rodeo
It was a stormy April mourning in northeastern Kentucky, and Joe felt that he was in need of a deep yet compelling thrill of which he had never quite felt rumble through his slippery innards before. He could not however determine what it is he would do to fulfill his burning need. Aha! he exclaimed as a 14th century goose attacked his tenderloins. He knew where he must go. Joe picked up his formal ball gown and got real strange in preparation for his day at the rodeo that he knew would be occurring a few meters from his ruler shop downtown. Joe, being a pudgy and stinky little man, walked with great difficulty and embarrassment to the rodeo as people starred at his absurd outfit, and jerked away from his repugnant scent. As the tears of embarrassment filled his eyes with the burning screams of 18,000 middle aged walruses, he realized, "Hey, I'm me and i am special." However he was wrong. So wrong that because he said that aloud and allowed others to hear it, they began to throw small yet very large magnifying glass repair kits at him. As he ran with great pain and sorrowful leaps, he had finally come to the rodeo. There, a small but uncalled for sea lion approached him. Joe, having a deep and sexual pathological fear of such a creature removed his nail polish from its holster and threw it at the sea beast with minimal and sad force in an attempt to scare off the nasty animal. This did nothing but anger the sea lion. The sea lion, aptly named Sir Fargungle IV, began to rube his slippery and wet body onto Joe's face, demonstrating his anger to him, but at the same time, Sir Fargungle IV looked at Joe squirm with disgust, and so he backed off. In strangely and absolutely perfect English, the sea lion said onto Joe "It is alright small land mammal, come with me and i shall show you the ways of my people." Joe took one look at the lion that just caressed his skin and thought to himself, absolutely fucking not. He proceeded to pull out his shotgun and rip apart the sea lion's digestive system with hot bullets of sexual tension. "Oh how the French doth conquer" Joe said. He stepped over the sea lion and puked a little bit, but knew he must move on to fulfill his thrill seeking adventure.